If not, then what about rarely instead of never?
I can guarantee that if you drank pure petroleum and ate quicklime then you would spend the rest of your life without worrying about farts.
But if you sharted it’d be like napalm.
In short, no. To explain: you have a bunch of beneficial bacteria living inside your digestive tract. These little guys help you digest your food, and in return they get a free meal. This basically means that the food you eat ferments into poo. Fermentation always results in gas being released (think how the plastic wrap on a bowl of dough can puff up as it proves.) So to sum it up, unless you drank a strict water-only diet, anything you eat can give you gas. (Even then, you would probably still naturally swallow some air with the water, and some would make it to the other end as a fart.)
So we go to no pooping for 3 days to now someone wants to stop farting. What is going on here in lemmy?
Butthole problems
Ooo good band name
That first guy went 3 days and then posted a follow-up looking for constipation relief.
Seems that opened the floodgates. 😏
Our stop up the dam more likely.😹
Neat fact: Late in WWII, Germany deployed a rocket fighter. This rocket could climb to 12K in a three minuets. Consequently, the pilots had to eat a special low fiber diet to prevent gas because the change in pressure caused severe intestinal distress.
Of course that was the least of the pilot’s problems. The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.
This is precisely the answer I was looking for, though I didn’t know it when I asked. Thank you!
Are you flying an ME163?
There you go, lots of processed grains and low fiber proteins
could climb to 12K in a three minuets
a traditional minuet is ~4 minutes long, assuming meters, that would be roughly 2400 Km/h average speed
The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.
You’re just saying that because part of the fuel mixture would burst into flames when it came into contact with pretty much anything organic and had to he kept in aluminum containers because it would eat its way out of anything else.
And don’t forget that the other part of the fuel mixture would also burst into flames when it came on contact with pretty much anything organic and had to be kept in glass containers because it would eat through aluminum.
bro is doing the 3 day no fart challenge 💀
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
The thing is my family boils our own beans, and I’ve noticed everytime I eat canned ones, I fart a lot more, so something about those processed beans.
If you get access to one of them electric pressure cookers, instead of having to soak them overnight they can be done in an hour
Also they come out real soft
You mean you just straight pressure cook beans dried from the pack in an hour? Does it also work for giant beans? Got any recommendations on these electric pressure cookers?
Instant Pot or Ninja Foodi. My preference is the Foodi because it’s also a really good air fryer and I only got so much counter space. But the Instant Pot is cheaper.
If you can get one of the older Instant Pot Duos opt for that, they started using cheaper materials in the latest models.
I mean it’s probably closer to an hour an a half with warm up and cooling time, but it’s 45 minutes of cooking, yeah you’ve got the idea. Throw in a little salt because I can’t remember why I read it somewhere.
The magical fruit.
why would you want to give up one of life’s little joys?
The smell after, right? Right, guys?
It’s the flapping of buttcheeks during the fart, my fellow farter.
delet this
Take it from me. You don’t want to give up farting.
As someone with crohn’s I can confirm. Being bloated and unable to fart is a form of torture.
Highlight of your day?
I had my ass surgically removed like 20 years ago. Now I don’t fart. Some days you miss it.
It’s not possible to never fart but you can do things to reduce gas in your intestines. Here is an article about it. Sounds pretty miserable to me.
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-farting#elimination-diet
I’d rather fart and be happy than smell nice in misery.
If you really wanted the best of both worlds, you could get those underwear inserts that hide the smell.
The strange items humanity comes up with for very specific problems never cease to amaze me
They even have a blanket for similar purposes (fart concealment) and it’s called “the marriage blanket.” Cause farts ruin your marriage, allegedly. Haven’t ruined mine, but what do I know.
There’s this mineral you can eat called bismuth subgallate that works as an internal deodorant. It’s sold under the brand name devrom. Haven’t tried it, but heard good things.
Things I learn on Lemmy, for real. “It’s like Febreeze but for your insides.”
Have they used “It’s a breathmint for your butthole” yet?
That would be genius marketing right there. I already ordered some online. Can’t wait to smell my own farts.
The only reason I haven’t bought some is because I’m poor. Hey devrom guys I just got you a sale. Send me some.
Farts don’t have to smell bad. This is something you can change with diet. In particular, avoiding animal products will help. But if you go completely vegan, then your sweat will smell weird, so it’s a trade-off.
There is a diet created by Monash University researchers called the Low FODMAP diet. Essentially FODMAPs are harder to digest sugars that exacerbate GI symtpoms, like farts and cramps. Most people won’t see or feel much of a difference but those with GI issues (or those with a fart journal) may see a difference with the diet
However it is a rather strict diet to keep at first until you start reintroducing foods to figure out which foods cause the gas, so I would only recommend it if the gas is extreme or there is cramping or other GI related symtpoms.
I was on the diet for over a year by recommendation of a gastroenterologist and can confirm that after some time the farts were kinda rare and not the smelly kind. But like others have mentioned, farts are natural and cannot be eliminated.
Idk man, with some of the better ones you just feel the need to document them for posteriority.
2023-08-03, 8;04 GMT: Brrraaappppp - br - br - br - br - brapp - brap - BRAAAAAPPPPP (engine revving sounds)
Excerpt from my fart journal.
I REALLY wish FODMAP worked for me. I hear everyone raving about it, but may of the “safe” foods aren’t safe for me, even in their tiny amounts, and non safe foods are fine. sigh
deleted by creator
I believe there’s a different technical term for mouth farts.
Haha, yes, but I rarely burp, again due to GI issues. If I chew gum, I fart. Otherwise, I’ll go days without any.
Fun tidbit. My kid, the first time they realized they farted ran up to me in scared confusion and confessed to me that they burped out of their butt. After learning everyone does and they did before but didn’t remember life was ok again
My auntie swore by taking charcoal tablets. We just suspected she’d gone deaf.
Old people don’t fart. Instead of a distinct fart event, it’s more of a constant, low pressure leak.
Did she buy black underwear or dye them herself?
I believe she spray painted them.
deleted by creator
Eat no or little processed foods, lots of vegetables, moderated meat, and move around so that your guts can work (digestion is a physical process), eat more in morning and lunch, light dinner early, drink a lot of water, and you’d be surprised how many health problems go away
This is like the opposite of what they asked though. They didn’t ask for healthy, they asked for less farting. Lots of vegetables will make lots of farting.
Thats nonsense. Where did you fet that idea?
With occasional exceptions, eating well (etc) and not-farting are in the same Venn diagram.
Lol are you arguing in favor of eating poorly? Why?
Increased fiber intake induces more farting. Beans, beans, the magical fruit…
This. When I used to work a very physical job (2.5k+ Cal per day min) I never had flatulence. My diet was also better, but I ate a ton. Like so much food, but I guess that’s what happens when you burn more calories in a day then most people do existing. I do not miss that job, I do miss my old body. It would be impossible to get that amount of exercise naturally.
Stop eating anything with high fructose corn syrup. I promise it works.
If you hold on for a few minutes, it will be absorbed by the colon and go into your bloodstream. Then it will be released into the atmosphere through your skin. Soundlessly and smellessly.
Only a certain amount, you can’t hold everything in.
Trust me, I tried.
That can’t be healthy
Doesn’t the smell come out through your mouth (i.e. literally having fart-breath) if you hold it in, or is that just an urban myth?
My gf almost never farts. She’s given me a complex about it, i stg. She says she trained herself not to by sheer willpower, and in spite of living together for almost 2 years, I’ve only caught her like twice.
She says she trained herself not to by sheer willpower
Does she burp a lot instead? Maybe she’s pumping it back up the other way. Kind of like how railguns vs. blasters work lore-wise in EVE Online:
Consists of two components: a shell of titanium and a core of antimatter atoms suspended in plasma state. Railguns launch the shell directly, while particle blasters pump the plasma into a cyclotron and process the plasma into a bolt that is then fired.
Omg 😆 that’s a spectacular reference in this context. I miss eve online.
deleted by creator
The rare farters always release it all in their sleep.
