So before anything I’m a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I’d like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I’ve been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don’t understand what they want.

  • Angry_Autist@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    1 month ago

    Then give them space to label themselves, not all men are introspective or self-aware

    The last 60 years has majorly fucked with labels and masculinity, and what seems like a simple question to smooth the relationship to you may feel like an identity attack to them.

    The less labels used the better, allow people’s actions to define them

    • Hanna@lemmy.zipOPEnglish
      2·
      1 month ago

      But sexuality is not just a label, and it sounds like internalized homophobia. If you’re attracted to a male of any kind you’re at least bisexual and there’s nothing wrong with it.

      • Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
        1·
        1 month ago

        Sexuality is 100% a societally constructed label. It’s flexible, individual, and often changing. If you decide that ‘bisexual’ means anyone who’s ever had a passing thought about both genders, well suddenly that label applies to 99% of the population, whether they would agree to it or not. That’s not a particularly useful label at that point, it doesn’t mean anything. And since most people don’t use the label that way, they’re going to be upset if you tell them you’re stuffing them into that box.

          • Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
            1·
            1 month ago

            I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say here, I think you might have misread?

            The bigger point is, labeling someone without their consent is rude. A huge benefit of our growing collection of self descriptors of sexuality is that it gives people a framework to understand how they feel, and a way to communicate that with others in their community. Forcing a label on someone else is denying their lived experience and dismissing their feelings. It’d be one thing if you were having a political discussion online or something, but you’re doing this to your dates.