So 11 years ago, on reddit, I contributed to a “what mind blowing…” something or other thread with my Kill Bill theory.
It blew up, spawned the creation of /r/fantheories, I got a nice note from Miramax asking if they could use it on their blog (legal killed it :( ).
Then it grew legs and walked all over the internet and YouTube.
I’m not gonna link back to reddit, because fuck Spez. But here’s a copypasta. Looks like I might have to re-do some busted screenshots at some point…
The basic premise is this - Beatrix doesn’t actually kill Bill in “Kill Bill”. In order to understand how this theory works you have to first put events in chronological order:
Beatrix is trained by Pai Mei. He teaches her the eye pluck move that he himself used on Elle Driver to remove her right eye, it’s the same move Beatrix uses in part 2 to remove her left eye. He also teaches her the 3" punch which allows her to escape the coffin trap.
At no point are we shown her learning the “5 Point Palm Fist of Death Technique”.
01 - Pai Mei Training http://imgur.com/a/0iXc0
Beatrix’s first life change event comes when she first learns she’s pregnant. Mentally she’s making the shift from stone cold assassin to mom. We see that reflected in her refusal to kill her own attempted assassin, even when she has the clear opportunity. For her abandonment of duty, she’s shot in the head and wakes up 4 years later.
Waking up and realizing she’s not a mom anymore, takes that assassin switch and flips it back on. Her reaction after that is sudden and predictable.
02 - Congratulations! http://imgur.com/a/xLbWz
Beatrix kills her rapist and pimp in the hospital, flies to Japan and wipes out the tea house then kills O-Ren. She shows two acts of mercy, the first being in the tea house itself when she’s confronted by a sword weildiing child, slapping his butt with the flat of the sword and sending him home, and leaving behind a mutilated Sophie as a gruesome calling card.
03 - Kill Crazy Rampage! http://imgur.com/a/TNhpD
The second name on the Death List results in another fundamental change. When Beatrix realizes that Nikki has seen her mother’s death, her first reaction is shame. She tries to hide the knife behind her leg. From this point on, Beatrix doesn’t kill another person, even people who really deserve it.
04 - Nikki http://imgur.com/a/KfGbe
Budd is bitten by a Black Mamba, courtesy of Elle. Beatrix pluck’s Elle’s eye out, but leaves her alive. She also doesn’t injure Esteban, the sadistic pimp in Mexico who ultimately leads her to Bill. She also doesn’t hunt down and kill the guy who helped Budd bury her.
05 - The Non-Kills: http://imgur.com/a/lF8qR
Upon reaching Bill’s hacienda, BB gets the drop on her mother and what ensues is an elaborate play act. They pretend to shoot each other and pretend to be dead. This is foreshadowing the “death” of Bill. It’s all just one big play act.
This is the 3rd switch flip for Beatrix. She went from killer to mom back in the hotel room when she found she was pregnant, she went back from mom to killer when she woke up in the hospital. Now she’s a mom again.
06 - Play Acting: http://imgur.com/a/LK93A
Beatrix hits Bill with the 5 point palm fist of death technique, but it seems that she’s using the same form as the eye pluck learned from Pai Mei and it also looks like she hits Bill 6 times, not 5 as you’d expect.
07 - 5 Point Palm: http://imgur.com/a/IKXku
Bill seems to be bleeding from a bit lip, not internal injuries as he asks “Pai Mei taught you that…?”
Beatrix responds “Sure he did”, but the whole time she’s shaking her head “No.”
08 - Sure he did: http://imgur.com/a/1PKTA
Bill then takes his 5 step walk of death, but if you look at his weight placement, he actually takes 6 steps. This is his acknowledgement. She hit him 6 times, not 5. so he takes 6 steps, not 5. It’s a quiet acknowledgement that “If I pretend to kill you, you pretend to be dead.”
09 - Walk of death: http://imgur.com/a/VvF7j
At the end of the film Beatrix is on the floor of a motel bathroom 1/2 laughing and 1/2 crying and saying “Thank you!” Who is she thanking? Bill. Why? For letting them all go. Pretending to kill him and him pretending to die is the only way either of them can exit the situation gracefully. They both love each other, they don’t really want to kill each other, espectially not after it turns out BB is not only still alive, but has been cared for by Bill all these years.
BB meanwhile is watching a classic Heckyl and Jeckyl cartoon. Previously Beatrix and BB had been watching Shogun Assassin, the story of a Japanese assassin and his son killing their way across Japan (based on the manga “Lone Wolf and Cub”.) Drawing the obvious parallel, the Bride and her daughter aren’t killers anymore, they’re trickster crows.
10 - Thank you! http://imgur.com/a/3LzBP
There are two credit sequences at the end of Kill Bill, Vol. 2. The first being in color. Everyone who dies is shown at a point from the film where they were still alive. Except Bill. Or is he? If you look closely and compare his body position to where he was when he fell, his feet have moved.
11 - Color credits: http://imgur.com/a/Mkt5G
But was moving his feet a continuity error or a deliberate hint? For the answer to that you have only to look at the black and white credit sequence. Every actor on the death list who dies has their name crossed off. Daryl Hannah, whose character was blinded but left alive is marked with a huge question mark. But David Carradine? His name is not marked at all.
The only conclusion based on this entire sequence is that Beatrix does not kill Bill in Kill Bill.
12 - B&W Credits: http://imgur.com/a/hgzIz
You’re give Tarantino way too much credit here. He’s a good writer and director, but this concept is far beyond his writing ability.
Plus, I doubt he’d be able to keep it a secret. :)
As a huge Kill Bill fan I bloody love this and I will be telling everyone I watch it with, very loudly and continuously throughout the entire movies, from now on.
Once you see it, you can’t un-see it. ;)
You sound like fun. 🤣
Now THAT’S what I’m talking about! 👏👏👏
Thank you, @Jordan Lund, for this kolossal post…and 🤬🤬🤬🤬 for raising the bar so high for future posts! Remind me not to ask you about the single bullet theory or Kubrick’s hand in the “Moon landings.”
Seriously though, here’s to future posts by Mr. Lund. 🥂 Think you can do better, any of you potential cineastic editorialists? Take your best shot! 🎥
I find this as Outlandish as theory that Jar Har Binks is actually a Sith Lord in the Star Wars prequels.
I do love that one too, but at least mine has screenshots (when they work.)
I’m not one to go searching myself on Google, but TIL this whole thing got translated into Polish(?) and some of the broken images are there:
https://wykop.pl/link/2632757/kill-bill-beatrix-kiddo-nie-zabila-billa/
This is great! I’ve actually been meaning to rewatch the couplet, so now I have something to think about during the rewatch.
One note: imgur is also now a trash site, and is barely a shell of its former self. HIGHLY advise using a different image hosting site from now on.
Yup. Will do when I re-do the albums, which needs to happen anyway. Any suggestions?
Me might be kinda boned for the time being.
Though you CAN insert images into Lemmy posts.
Interesting theory and I can see why it went viral.
Just fyi: a couple of the Imgur links don’t go anywhere.
Yeah, I’ll have to pull up the DVDs again and re-do the screenshots. :(
Damn this is nice. I like it, it’s my head canon now. Doesn’t matter if Tarantino intended it or not.
But the title…
this truly GRINDHOUSE POST deserves a Palme d’Or
Outstanding work. Thanks for sharing 👏👏👏
wow!
wow!
You liked it, huh? 😄
Quit that grin, I thought Bill was killed!
The research is impressive as heck, so aye I liked it . 👅
Actually, I was just commenting on the fact that you commented twice “Wow!” Hence, I guess you really liked it! 🤣
ROFL! That was in error, but you caught it really well.