Also known as snooggums on midwest.social and kbin.social.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • They are human beings who are more frequently able to relate to people who are similar to them based on shared experiences including social pressures. I don’t think either gender is unable to relate to the other gender, but social pressure is pretty strong and leads to common outcomes that involve pressures based race, gender, and economic status among others. Someone from a wealthy family is more likely to have a certain outlook compared to someone who had food insecurity as a child.


  • Absolute trash to pretty solid.

    Worst was a counselor for a relationship, didn’t listen to anything I said and focused entirely on who showed the most sadness instead of the issues we were having. Stereotypical blaming the man for not being able to read minds while glossing over any actual communication issues. I was supposed to figure out what was upsetting my wife without asking her and also I was blamed for not picking up vague hints that were inconsistent. Also, don’t you see how upset she is! Stop expecting her to tell you what is wrong! My wife was the one who didn’t want to go back.

    Best was a one on one therapist who actually listened and helped with perspective. He helped a lot with being able to understand when to stop trying to communicate and just taking a guess when that is the omly option, plus guidance on more structured introspection. Bonus: He helped me get diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s, which really helped.

    Had a couple of others who kinda listened but didn’t really help. At least they weren’t a net negative like the relationship one.








  • CBT being basically the only kind of approach to therapy that is actually empirically shown to reliably actually help most people.

    Learning that as an acronym for cock and ball torture before the therapy version makes me laugh every time.

    My experience with women therapists was always about how I just wasn’t paying enough attention to other people when I pointed out that the people around me weren’t consistent enough to figure out their patterns. My one therapist who was a man explained that most people are just better at handling it when they were wrong and it is fine to be wrong, plus he helped me get diagnosed with ADHD instead of telling me to just try harder. I’ll bet there are some therapists who are women who are just as good as he was, but it became pretty clear that social norms are just as hard for people who specialize in behaviors to overcome.






  • Remember that there are a lot of circumstances that could makenit ‘unavoidable’ or shift part of the blame to the victim. A misfire and ricochet would still be called a shooting. If she was somewhere down range and a bullet missed a backstop to hit her it would still be a shooting. Maybe a child was shooting the gun in either scenario.

    There are plenty of situations where a grand jury would see something as an ‘unavoidable accident’ or not want to punish whoever had control of the weapon.

    Until we know more, there is always the possibility the grand jury doesn’t want to follow through based on some misguided emotional criteria instead of holding someone accountable for negligence.