I deleted my last account on another instance and started a new one. So technically I’m not really NEW. But to answer your question, I wanna die.

I would LOVE to see other comedians rip on him.

• puts pinky to lip *

Twenty Billion Dollars!!!

I HATE this guy. He’s NOT funny. He used to post hours of heckling “clap backs” on reddit and none of them were witty or funny. Post after post of garbage content thinking he is witty.

Fuck this guy and his garbage act.

but it doesn’t feel like Wonder Womans time to shine right now

It could be if they made a good game.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

Invincible S.3

Gladiator 2

Mo S.2

I’ve been binge drinking on the weekends for 20 something years and I stopped drinking 11 days ago and it’s going well. I feel optimistic. It’s intimidating, but for the first time I’m not afraid of the thought that I can’t drink in the future. I’m excited for it. I don’t HAVE to not drink. I GET to not drink and it feels different this time.

Wanna find out? What’s your phone number?

Warehouse manager came in early (it wasn’t me)

Saw the pallets on the floor lookin’ swirly (it wasn’t me)

Thousands worth of product shattered (it wasn’t me)

Said my forklift skills don’t matter (it wasn’t me)

I hereby claim that the law was broken! Arrest Elon!

What about mass outgoing dick pics? Better not blur those. Those are my money makers.

Yeah, that’s nice. Lemme get some of that Wile E. Coyote movie though.