Sounds like you fucked something up when making them. I’m not vegan but I’ve tried them and they’re ok when done properly. Not special, but okay and far from vile garbage.

Oh no, comic known for being offensive is being offensive

I’d rather get a drip coffee maker.

What you’ll save in the cost of the device itself you’ll lose in buying the non-reusable capsules, plus they create a crazy amount of unnecessary plastic waste.