It definitely takes effort. However I do get discouraged if I feel like I’m the only one working on trying to keep the connection. Loads of my previous friendships was just me always starting the conversation or suggesting to meet or do something together and it does makes me feel like I’m bothering them, but I suppose thats ‘my problem’ I do have hobbies, I’ve been active in one for over 10 years and had connections with seweral people, but we stopped talking for one or the other reason. I will have to look out for local craft groups, maybe that will work.
I started ‘watching the English’ by Kate Fox, it’s very interesting! Maybe it will help me blend in in the crowd a bit more.