That would be pretty stupid even for him, but nothing is off the table anymore, so fingers crossed.

Satire is dead. I earnestly predict at least one more pick on this list proves actually true.

Pakled

Not even pretending to not be driven by cronyism.

It is fenced off on the grounds of the Royal Hospital in Chelsea, but some good aim with a small catapult could still get the job done.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

They already own a second or third house in a mountain state so they can ski in the winter. They’re already pre-migrated.

It’s a GOD, stupid. It can do whatever it wants.

Bring back the stockade for shit like this.

How thoughtful of them to ensure that the deceased would have something to put up their butt in the underworld.

And there is some green coloration on it, indicating the dildo was once painted to look like a cucumber. Derek Smalls gets it.

Maybe it’s time to admit that you are bad at this and you should do something else besides trying to run a business. It’s clearly not your forte.

This is pretty good satire, and I gotta give you props for sticking to the bit, LunchMoneyThief.

Happy workers stay longer and don’t leave rotting fish in the vents right before quitting out of frustration.

Only a person who thinks on a single axis could possibly believe the two parties are the same in any meaningful way. Reality is more complex than that.

Gary Whittington, the man he shot, was a Republican and major financial backer of both of George W. Bush’s election campaigns.

So

This isn’t an endorsement of Harris. It’s an anti-endorsement of Trump.

Give it to me.

Do it. It’s good.