Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to reconnect with family over a delicious meal, but what if your family members still don’t accept you for who you are? If you want to finally win your family over while also finally gaining their approval of your queer and/or poly lifestyle, keep reading for five Thanksgiving recipes that are so good your family will finally accept your sexuality!
Orange and Cinnamon Infused Cranberry Sauce
This zesty cranberry sauce will have everyone at your dining table commenting on how modern and interesting it is, just like your attraction to other women, which they previously thought was “just a phase,” but after trying this seasonal combination of spices and fruits, they just might reconsider!
Buttery Herb Stuffing
This recipe will bring your stuffing to a whole new level with freshly chopped sage, parsley, and rosemary. After your family takes a bite of this flavorful stuffing, they’ll realize that being gay isn’t a choice after all, and if there’s still ones who don’t, at least their mouths will be full!
Oven Baked Mac ‘n’ Cheese
Your family will be so head-over-heels for this cheesy dish with a crunchy topping that they won’t even care that the “friend” you brought to Thanksgiving this year is actually your girlfriend. They actually might even ask her about her life and her interests, because the spices in this mac ‘n’ cheese are just that damn good!
Sautéed Green Beans with Garlic
Sure, your mom’s side of the family still might not fully accept you for being gay, especially your aunt, but once they all taste these delicious green beans, they’ll definitely start to open up. Remember that nothing makes homophobic people more accepting than when you make their vegetables taste really good!
Baked Candied Yams
Nothing brings a Thanksgiving meal together better than the sweet and comforting taste of candied yams, and these ones will have your grandpa saying, “Wow, I didn’t realize lesbians could be so good in the kitchen,” which is kind of heartwarming, almost!
Everyone knows that the best way to your family member’s hearts is through their stomachs, and these Thanksgiving dishes are so good that your whole family will finally accept the fact that you’re not straight. They still won’t understand how you can be both a lesbian and polyamorous, but that’s a recipe for next year!
link: https://reductress.com/post/thanksgiving-recipes-so-good-your-family-will-accept-your-sexuality/
The one Onion headline I wish was true.
Either way, this article is SPICY!
The link is a lie, there are no recipes!
I was so excited, hoping to find recipes to win my family back. 🫠
Ouch too close to home lol
This reminds me of the Lists from Mcsweeney’s.
Orange and cinnamon infused cranberry sauce is AWESOME. Oven baked Mac’n cheese is rarely as good as it should be, because some idiot thinks they need to put their “twist” on the recipe, and they end up ruining it.
Way too real.
