I meticulously eat all the whites off my fried eggs then shove the intact yolk into my mouth. Mostly because I hate yolking the other food on the plate and fried eggs are best hot. I have converted my husband. Everyone else seems to think it’s weird.

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I wander around at weird hours with food and drinks on me, offering them to homeless people. A lot of them are initially (understandably) suspicious because they might think I’m trying to grift them into attending some church or exploiting them in some startup scheme, but with some patience and established trust they often get used to you when you come around the next time.

There’s lifetimes lived out there and people that will share their stories with you if you brought some pizza.

I process insect vomit for a day job

I say something unique to myself (like the date or something I’m working on today) when I lock the door, so that I can think back to that moment later in the day and remember that I locked the door. Otherwise I start worrying about if I locked the door or not.

When I’m alone I’ll wear a full suit, because dressing up makes me feel nice, but I lack the courage to go full “retro men’s fashion enthusiast” and dress up like it’s 1939

I just realised that I probably wouldn’t realise it was strange, I might have to ask someone who knows me

I didn’t realise it was strange until my sister complained about it being incomprehensible gibberish, but I listen to podcasts at at least double speed.

One of the characters on the Hideous Laughter podcast Interlude episodes had long pauses between words so I kept speeding it up until they stopped bothering me. Then everything else sounded weird at normal speed and I’d get bored during the pauses between people speaking, so now they’re all on 2-2.5x speed.

I eat bell peppers like apples. Just wash it and eat it, no cutting required.

I’m a chronic joint-popper. Fingers, toes, neck, and back are all pretty standard fare for most people. But a lot of people get weirded out when I pop my shoulders, elbows, ankles, knees, or hips. Sometimes I can make something around my sternum pop, but usually only after waking up from a long sleep.

I eat apples as a whole. It recently confused some of my new co-students :D

One day I saw advertised these birdhouses with little accordion-like appendages, the same kind most air conditioners have that allow them to fit into windows, and I bought several of these, one per window. On the side facing the outdoors, birds find a little hole and can venture inside, as is typical of a birdhouse. On the side facing the inside of my home, the same birdhouses have tiny windows, like those one-way viewers hotel doors have, that allow anyone to see into the birdhouses, as well as the secretly built option to open it like a door, either while no bird is inside (makes cleaning them easy) or, if someone for some reason felt devious (I wouldn’t, and would never give anyone the key to said birdhouse doors), while a bird was in there, which would force it to honor the will of the owner of the home with all the said birdhouses (again, I would never use this feature, unless maybe a bird was injured or something and needed help).

Alright, with all that said… while I have no plans to ditch any of the birdhouses, I will admit I’ve received complaints that the combination of a few dozen birdhouses in unison is noisy in the morning, like you wake up at six in the morning and it sounds like the birdie house of commons. People say such bird hospitality is unbecoming of an inn attendant. Is it though? Is it? That said, this is usually when the noise cancellers aren’t working.

I shave the parts of my chest within 10cm of my nipples, so that suction toys stay on properly.

So apparently my girlfriend thinks it’s weird my family keeps a knife in the toilet. You know, just in case it doesn’t flush down. I thought everybody did this.

When I type on the keyboard I often always type F at the end and immediately backspace. I don’t understand why I do it and I can’t stop doing it.