I’ll go first. Mine is the instant knockout drug. Like Dexter’s intramuscular injection that causes someone to immediately lose consciousness. Or in the movie Split where there’s the aerosol spray in your face that makes you instantly unconscious. Or pretty much any time someone uses chloroform.
I get what you’re saying, but I had to ask my wife for a date around six times over a period of around 3 months before she said yes. We’ve been together almost 20 years now. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, and it’s okay to ask again if you’re not crazy.
There may be some small amount of nuance. Like if she says a hard no vs a not now, or if time has passed and circumstances changed significantly maybe.
But I’m confident that far more often than not, being repeatedly asked out after having said no is upsetting and may be a sign of danger. Is this person who isn’t accepting no on a date going to not accept no on sex, on me having friends, on other things?
Also, big norm breach, the person who said no could change their mind and reach out on their own.
Yeah, how you ask and how they answer has a lot to do with it. I wasn’t like “do you want to go on a date and be my girlfriend?”. It was more like “hey, want to grab some lunch today?”, or “hey, want to go for sushi Friday?”, or “want to meet for a drink tomorrow?”. They were all pretty open ended questions, asked in person. You definitely have more opportunities when you know someone IRL than when you’re just asking a stranger on the internet. It turns out that she always liked me, but was dealing with some personal tragedy when I started asking her, so the timing was just wrong. Once she was somewhat finished dealing with that, she said yes, plus we had gotten to know each other better during that time.