They are markers of who belongs and who doesn’t in the corporate environment. Ties tell me that you love bureaucracy and meetings but hate real work. You can’t do real work in a tie and if you do, your tie is pretty gross.
This is why super tacky, gaudy, ridiculous ties should be worn. It draws attention away from the quality of your work so you can do it with complete mediocrity that’s symbolic of bureaucracy.
Contrasting bright colors. Polka dots. Razzle Dazzle. American flag. Busy stripes. Mildly phallic and vaginal but not quite HR reportable.
Every morning I ask myself “how can I dress as phallic and vaginally as possible today without it being HR reportable?🤔”
If I don’t have anything floral and penile enough, I’ll compensate by using the word “moist” several times in conversation that day just to be on the safe side.
They are markers of who belongs and who doesn’t in the corporate environment. Ties tell me that you love bureaucracy and meetings but hate real work. You can’t do real work in a tie and if you do, your tie is pretty gross.
This is why super tacky, gaudy, ridiculous ties should be worn. It draws attention away from the quality of your work so you can do it with complete mediocrity that’s symbolic of bureaucracy.
Contrasting bright colors. Polka dots. Razzle Dazzle. American flag. Busy stripes. Mildly phallic and vaginal but not quite HR reportable.
At the last job where I had to wear a button up shirt and tie, I decided to go all out on the wacky and ended up with a closet full of paisley.
Every morning I ask myself “how can I dress as phallic and vaginally as possible today without it being HR reportable?🤔”
If I don’t have anything floral and penile enough, I’ll compensate by using the word “moist” several times in conversation that day just to be on the safe side.
tie + lathe = death