cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/2884893
I always put everything off for later so i end up with my house uncleaned, books unread, meals uncooked, programming not learned etc. Could anyone offer advice on how to stop procrastinating?
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/2884893
I always put everything off for later so i end up with my house uncleaned, books unread, meals uncooked, programming not learned etc. Could anyone offer advice on how to stop procrastinating?
Procrastination is a deep subject, and the reason for procrastinating is going to be different for every person.
To me, it sounds like this is not the procrastination of one thing, though rather the procrastination of a lot of different things, so I would suggest that the issue you’re probably struggling with is perfectionism.
Perfectionism stems from you seeing mistakes as deep, personal flaws, defining yourself based on achievement as well as how well you do something, and doing things in order to earn approval and acceptance from others, rather than doing things for yourself.
Perfectionism is other-focused. Healthy striving is self-focused and self-driven.
I cannot overstate how helpful this little breakdown was for me. I knew every individual thing you said, but you helped me by putting it into words that I think others can understand.
Everything I’m seeing here has been really weirdly relevant to my character arc this season.
Thank you, I’m glad this little breakdown helped. It’s actually been something I struggled with recently, so putting it here in plain English was useful for me.
You are not your achievements—you never have been.
You are separate to your achievements.
If you really want to know who you are, there are some books that help on this subject, though you are the conscious observer of these things, not the things themselves. If you construct a shelf and I put this shelf in front of you and ask, “is this you?”, of course, you would go “no, that’s not me.” If you achieve earning yourself a mansion and fine clothes, you may think those things are rather nice, though those things aren’t you and the thoughts that those things are nice are also not you.
What happens is that you actually get lost in the energy of your achievements; anything that upsets that delicate balance tips you over the edge into that ultimate pit of confusion / despair, like your whole world has been turned inside-out—you are unable to risk anything that might damage that sense of self and tip you into that state, therefore you don’t ever take any risks. It’s the ultimate casualty of building any sense of self-concept that you protect other than your true sense of self, the conscious being observing those things.
I’m looking forward to Sandman89 season X+1. :)
Just thought it fitting to tell you that this comment of yours that I keep coming back to hit me harder than you might have anticipated. Thank you for sharing.
That’s great! Thank you for the appreciation. I’ve had my fair share of procrastination so I know what it’s like. 😅
Hey, so crazy idea, if you’re looking for a life coach / mentor I would be happy to give that a try; it’s something I’ve been meaning to break into. I imagine it would be weekly check-ins and dealing with some of the different problems you’re facing, though we can adapt to what you need. Send over a PM if interested.
I feel guilty that you never heard back. 😕
And I think you and I are probably thinking on the same wavelength. I’m feeling better than I ever remember feeling, and I want to help others get out of it, too.