Yes! Battlefield Earth.
I stayed for the whole movie because I couldn’t believe how bad it was.To me battlefield earth falls under the “so bad it begins to loop back around into Cheesey fun” category.
I especially love how what are essentially cave men find F16 fighter jets from the past and not only do the jets and old fuel work, but the cave men know how to start them and fly them effectively.
L Ron really outdid himself on that gem.
really outdid himself
You should see what he saved for the non-fiction section.
Not even F16s, Harriers. Notoriously hard to fly and constantly breaking down.
That’s right, Jesus. I haven’t watched that movie in like 20 years so I just took a shot in the dark at what jets were really popular at the time and we were flying the shit out of F16s during the Gulf War.
Harriers were fucking nightmares for the mechanics and avionics techs that worked them.
It really was something.
Didn’t the humans use the “learning machine” to teach themselves advanced knowledge? The same machine the alien overlords put Jonnie in to teach him their language?
Sounds like you actually know. It’s been over 2 decades since I saw that movie, but I’m sure they handwaved it with something like that.
Ok but the book is actually really good though. It’s hilarious that they never explain how they learned how to fly and operate the machinery
The book is fucking terrible but it’s great pulp scifi. It’s obvious that by the time he wrote it nobody dared edit him, so there’s multiple parts of the book that repeat but worded slightly differently, and in general the plot etc just aren’t great and the whole thing is thinly veiled Scientology propaganda (“Psychlo catrists” – psychiatrists, ie. 'ol Ron’s worst enemy). But if you take it for the pulpy weird mess it is, it’s fun.
That’s what happened for me, I read the book as a teenager and didn’t know anything about Ron or scientology so when I read it, all I saw was a piece of scifi
I don’t know that I’d call it really good, but it made more sense. At least until they nuke the alien home world and the whole thing blows up because it’s hollow and filled with explosive gas for some reason.
Still, you can always tell illiterate motherfuckers when they trash talk a novelist, even a pulp novelist, based on a movie adaptation.
That movie suffers from the source material being fucking ridiculously long and weird. Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 is like 1000 pages or so. Also it’s L Ron Hubbard so the book is just weird and creepy at times.
They used to get paid by the word back then.
For a writer he was not concise in his explanations.
I watched the trailer and it looked so good. I was really waiting for it for a half year or so. You can imagine my disappointment.
mAn aNiMaL!!1
one of the people walking out was me.
I’ve watched that movie at least four times since it’s on the RiffTrax twitch channel rotation. Even with some great riffs, it’s such a slog, but at least we got a running “blow the dome!” joke out of it.
My ex GF made us leave in the middle of LOTR: Return of the King.
She is my ex for unrelated reasons.
I saw the South Park Bigger, Longer, and Uncut movie in theaters as a kid. I lived in a small town adjacent to a small city, and there weren’t many other people in the theater. During the scene where the boys are watching the Terrace and Phillip movie and the theater-goers walk out, so did everyone else in our real life theater. It was surreal. We had a great time watching the rest of the movie by ourselves.
My dumbass father liked eragon, I couldn’t even give it a fair shot as a movie bc I was too caught up in how they absolutely butchered the storyline of the books.
So I went and saw it on a weekend with a buddy just because we liked seeing movies. We went into it with no idea what it was about besides “epic dragon movie”. I watched so many fans of the book get up angrily about 35 minutes in and storm out.
We talked to one of the theatre employees and they said that they had never received so many refund requests for a bad film before Eragon.
And rightfully so. That movie was an utter atrocity.
Are we talking Star Was Holiday Special bad, or is it the sort of thing you could watch while laughing at it? Because my friend has a big weed stash and needs to know about movies like that.
If it was that campy, it might have been endearing. No, it’s a “I could have spent this time playing checkers with myself” kind of bad. I was a big fan of the books so I felt like I should sit through the whole thing just to say I watched it but I couldn’t keep myself awake. I couldn’t care less about any of the characters by the end of it.
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Out of curiosity, what was wrong with it? I never read the books, and watched it years later on late night cable, and it seemed ok. Typical pre-teen bland fantasy. Perfectly fine on enough weed
They tried to blend all the books together and fucked everything up so bad a second movie is impossible.
Just a couple things I remember:
Galbatorix, the king and one of the last dragon riders, constantly claims he wants “his stone” back. That “stone” is a dragon egg and he should know this better than anyone.
Urgals, which in the books are basically orcs, are literally just humans with helmets.
They gave Durza, the villain of book 1, Shruikan, Glabatorox’s dragon. Which was then promptly defeated. Thing is, when dragons die, their rider is likely to die as well(galby is a special case, his original dragon died already). This is especially problematic because {MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD} Galbatorixs final plan is to breed his dragon with the lead characters dragon to bring back the dragon race he destroyed. Also, Galbatorix’s dragon would have most likely the strongest remaining dragon heart (“eldunari”) which are the source of galbatorix’s powers.
Tl;Dr: it’s not worth finishing the series because the entire rest of the plot would make no sense. The book series is literally my favorite series with >10000 series read.
It’s been my favourite series for so long, it’s so hard to explain to someone why it’s so good because it just sounds like another fantasy adventure series, but it’s so gosh darn good.
That wasn’t Shruiken, that was, like, a shadow dragon he summoned with his shadow power or something. Created for the movie so they could have a more exciting climax than a one on one sword duel ended by an elf magically shattering a ruby as large as a house directly over said duel before diving into it on the back of a pissed off dragon, providing the distraction needed for the hopelessly outmatched hero to stab the unholy abomination through the heart. That might sound awesome to you, because it is. Shruikan was the post credits reveal.
Ah fair. Though also to be fair, isn’t the star rose about the size of a football field? At least that’s how I always envisioned it. Good God, that’s such a great series
It’s been so long, I just remember that they generally cut a ton of major elements of the story and completely changed the end bc they had no intention of ever making a sequel, at least not one remotely based off of the books. I remember being excited to see certain things happen, and they just… didn’t.
How has nobody mentioned the live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender movie? I saw it as a kid and even I wanted to leave.
Barnyard. My daughter and I used to go see EVERY kids movie when she was between 5 and 12 yrs. Let me tell you, I have learned to enjoy some shitastic movies. Then came Barnyard. 30 minutes in, it was so bad, I leaned over to my (then 6 years old) daughter and said “Sweetie, do you like this movie?” She looked at me with the most serious face and just said “No”.
It wasn’t me, but Pan’s Labyrinth had quite the exodus of parents with their younger kids when someone was beaten with a bottle and shot to death very early on.
The Dark Tower. Was so embarrassed that I brought my wife thinking someone could possibly take 8 books and boil them down to 95 minutes that I made us leave a half hour in. It trivialized everything about the books in the worst way possible.
Also, Nacho Libre. Just couldn’t do it. I don’t ding JB for it at all but really bad.
There are bad adaptations, and then there’s the Dark Tower, which was akin to a full palm-open slap to the fans while desperately hoping they could maybe appeal to some movie goers that were unfamiliar with the books, which it failed to do spectacularly.
Most of Steven King books end up this way. It’s pretty much expected at this point.
Hey now, The Mist, The Shining, Salem’s Lot, Storm of the Century, 1408, Rose Red (Depending on your tastes of course, it’s bad, but very watchable) that would like a word. Hell, Silver Bullet and Maximum Overdrive Are also not bad if you enjoy less than great movies.
And Shawshank Redemption! People always forget it’s based on a King novella
Yea, but most have been a bust and pretty bad in my experience.
Never read the books because I heard they end badly and that’s a hell of a time commitment.
They end fine. Genuinely, read the first book, and read the last chapter of the last book. Ignore everything else.
Imagine actually suggesting missing out on the height of Stephen King’s mescaline era.
His cocaine era was his best era. That being said, I did enjoy many of the Dark Tower books, but only as standalone books and not for what they contributed to the series overall, which was a large mess of half thought-out needlessly over-explained medley of what I can only summarize as pure narcissism.
The man managed to insert his own car accident three times in the series. This dude really needs therapy.
He also tried to bind his universe to Harry Potter, Star Wars, and even Spiderman.
Huh, it’s one of my favorite endings of all time and I consider it genius. One man’s trash I guess
Okay, maybe I will read them.
Not even Idris Elba could save that mess of a movie.
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Autocorrect really did a number on your comment.
Idris Elbow is aware of the effect he has on autocorrect.
Do you think him and Benadryl Cucumbersmash are friends?
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I think he would have made a great luchador.
Get back to your ready room and tend to your lizard babies.
Being cast as someone that is a clone of Clint Eastwood is not what I’d call a good casting.
Except if they knew it was just one single movie and Odetta wasn’t in it.
They could’ve had a motherfucking FRANCHISE
Nacho Libre is easily one of my favorite movies of all time, and I specifically avoided watching it because Jack Black was doing just terrible shit at the time. Now, my closest and oldest friends and I quote it at each other all these years later. I am truly sorry you didn’t like it!
Son of the mask. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Who doesn’t want to see a poorly trained child actor try and fill Jim Carrey’s shoes?
Oh! Oh! I know the answer! It’s me! Me!
I think the creepy CGI baby weirded me out
There’s also an Ace Ventura movie starring a child actor…
Didn’t even know it existed…
I wish I could say the same.
Across the universe… like half of the theatre walked out. It truly was a piece of shit movie.
A guy in the row in front of me exasperatedly said ’ I did the wrong damn drugs for this shit’ as he walked out.
Watched a ton of people exit Battlefield Earth. Two granny aged women sitting near me walked out of Wolf of Wall Street once Jonah Hill pulled his dick out (in the film, not in the theater)
For my parents, their walk out because it was terrible movie was Pulp Fiction
…Yeah I don’t listen to them for movie recommendations
That movie Wanted where Jolie curve balls bullets and Freeman reads the future by means of textile production
Great movie, despite the ridiculousness
I loved that movie… Reminded me of shoot-em-up around the same era
It’s worth it when you get to the end and hear Morgan Freeman utter the line “Will someone, PLEASE! Shoot this motherfucker!”
The really surprising bit is that it’s based on a comic where the characters aren’t assassins, they’re super-villains.
As much as I hate the toxic POS that is Mark Millar, he did write a good comic book there. Shame about the shitty film.
I loved that movie when I was 14
That one is not bad if you go in knowing that it’s just fucking ridiculous. It’s great for a bad b-movie night.
I went in knowing it from the comics and was not amused. Even worse than Snyder making Rorschach the good guy in Watchmen. Even misunderstanding/deliberate sabotage of everything from the source is better than just ignoring the best part of the plot.
How the hell do you take a setting where the supervillains won and end up with “some dudes just curve bullets bro”
I didn’t even like the comics but that was just lame
Watchmen was the only movie I saw people leave.
Granted, they were probably expecting some generic superhero movie.
It’s neither bad (it’s entertaining and competently-made even if absurd) nor a B-movie (by definition)
Oh c’mon. The keyboard smash across the face that spells fuck you? That’s HORRIBLE. Hilarious, but horrible.
I loved Wanted, that movie captured what it was like to work in a hive office environment with an equally horrific boss everyone pretended to like, also great action flick that bordered on a superhero movie.
The screaming in that movie made me want to punch the shit outta the guy getting dragged around by Jolie. God, he screams so annoyingly!
Bruh, YOU can’t curve bullets, don’t bring the rest of us down with you. I for one have been breaking the laws of physics for years
While not a bad movie, I saw a guy get up and leave after loudly giving an unhinged rant during Detective Pikachu
Reason: A line from the title character about “How can you NOT believe in Climate Change at this point?”
Same genius nearly got his ass beat by a members of a mostly black audience when he complained about Miles Morales being black during a Spider-Man preview in front of Black Panther
I didn’t walk out of the Avatar movie, but most people did. Halfway through someone opened the door to the theater and yelled in, “avatar sucks!” Normally I’d be a bit put out by such a disturbance, but in this case it was actually the most enjoyable and funniest part of the movie. (Last Airbender just in case)
